Tomorrow is Mothers Day! And quite frankly, I'm scared shitless. I love my family. I love the effort they make to try to make me feel special and honored on this day. It just never goes as planned. As I sit here , ridden with anxiety for what disaster will take place tomorrow, I reflect on last years Mothers Day spectacular . We live in an area rich with outside activities. Everyone has a boat, or a kayak or someway to access all of our beautiful waterways.
I love going out kayaking and have the dolphins come right up to me . There is something so magical about seeing a dolphin in the wild. I love being out there and looking around at what an amazing beautiful place I live in. The sunsets are this amazing pink and purple cotton candy looking sky shows that take my breath away and seeing it from on the water makes it that much more beautiful .
I see these families out on the waterways and they are looking like they are really enjoying life. I couldn't wait for the day my littles were old enough to sit in one and come out there with me. Last Mothers day , my husband made that happen by getting us all kayaks. I was so excited!!!! We planned our Sunday to have all of us out on the water in the kayaks and head to the small sandbar in our kayaks and enjoy the pluff mud for the day.
We pack up and head out to the Old oyster factory to launch from there. It was a gorgeous day and tons of boats were out. They just finished building a new launch that had a kayak slip attached( that I failed to see) We unpacked our kayaks. Husband parked the truck and I decided to be helpful and start dragging the kayaks down to the river, through the mud, not down the shiny new slip, that I didn't see. I get down to the river bank and I feel the mud is getting softer. Then this happens. My leg literally went straight down into that mud all the way to the vagine. So now I am standing there, sort of like a book end with one leg sunk all the way down in the mud up to my lady parts and the other leg is sticking straight out. I cannot move I cannot do anything actually. Im a little scared and a lot hysterical. And yes, of course there are more people surrounding me than I can count watching this entire thing go down. The teenager is tip toeing around me crying because her toes got muddy in her new sandals and she's whining, as I am stuck up to my lady parts in the mud. I grabbed my oar and I am not sure if I wanted to hit her with it or fling mud at her but I started slapping the ground with my oar yelling" DO YOU SEE ME STUCK IN THE MUD ? MY HEAD IS UP TO YOUR KNEES AN YOU ARE CRYING OVER YOUR FREAKING TOE AS THE EARTH IS LITERALLY SWALLOWING ME???!" WTF! Then Sophia, in all her excitement, is running towards the water and she's getting slower and slower and her feet are sinking. She's running in slomo looking a little concerned yelling " WHATS HAPPENING TO US!!!!!" How the hell is the mud safe for anyone ever ? I don't think it should be called Pluff mud but instead Lowcountry quick sand. It was taking us out one by one and as I am hysterical laughing. I am also sort of crying because this shit is literally swallowing my family. Then the boy comes trotting down. He's so happy. He's standing right next to me . Then he sinks to his knees and face plants forward into the mud. There is a family in a boat waiting their turn to dock and they are crying laughing at us. I see my husband about to walk down the same path we took and I am yelling to him and waving my oar screaming" DO NOT COME DOWN! SAVE YOURSELF! " So FINALLY we see the shiny new kayak launch and he walks down that path instead . He is literally standing 4 feet away on the end of the shiny convenient dock that prevents people from being swallowed by the earth, just staring at me . Repeatedly saying "I cannot help you! There is nothing I can do! " I feel like we looked like those lonely souls stuck to the bottom of the ocean in the Little Mermaid. We had no feet and we couldn't move. After a while , and a lot of comments from the boaters passing us bye, and me waving my oar at them , I figure out a solution. I leaned all the way back and started to somewhat log roll. Its working . My sunken leg is getting freed from the mud and I can roll the river and lay onto of all the broken oyster shells and be able to stand . I try it and it works. I use my trusty oar to have the littles hold onto that and yank them out of the mud. Now Husband can reach us and help also . FINALLY we are able to get in the freaking kayaks and enjoy this dam day and go to the sand bar. We double up and paddle over. We are covered in mud and I cannot wait to dip in the river to get some of this mud off of me. It was fun once we got there. The whole time Donovan is asking to blow the Coast Guard whistle attached to his life vest and we keep explaining you only do that during an emergency. After we spent enough time exploring the raw natural beauty we pack back up and start to kayak back over towards the Oyster factory to call it a day. Cynthia and Donovan get in a kayak together and no more than 3 minutes in they tip over. the water was still knee level so there was no real emergency but Donovan starts blowing the insanely loud whistle and yelling "EMERGENCY!! . I am laughing so hard I cannot breath because he is literally sitting in the water. It wasn't deep but that poor baby was so not enjoying this. We flip the kayak back over and get them situated again, and wave off the help that is coming towards us for the false alarm whistle . We head out again . The water is super choppy as all the boats are also heading in as well. I am in my own kayak and Cynthia and Donovan are in hers and Bryon(the U.S.S Stress Express) and Sophia are together in his . They had the most weight to kayak, with a backpack and Sophia, and just the general heaviness of his fishing kayak. I turn around to look at them again and all I see is his kayak upside down, the oars floating away , and no site of them. This is now very scary. Tons of boats are flying down the river and the water was super choppy . I kept thinking someone is not going to see them. We did all have vests on so I knew they would be safe in that aspect. I get Cynthia and Donovan to land. I yell to a guy with a dog in a John boat and point to the flipped kayak so he takes off down the river to look for them. I see a guy passing the dock in his boat and I literally pulled a 007 and took off running down the dock and jumped in his boat. The look on his face was priceless. Not to mention I felt pretty bad ass for jumping into a moving boat. I am crying now and pointing to the empty kayak and telling him my husband and daughter were in there. I can see the asshole who whizzed passed them and made them flip and you can see the horror and fear on his face . Such a jerk . Not so funny now! Finally I see a boat with a dog and a little girl wrapped in blanket being loved on by another momma and I felt relief. Sophia was all smiles and waving. They weren't in any real danger as we did have vests on and people for the most part, are very careful on the river . Everyone was more than happy to help us.Another guy was getting the kayak in his boat with my husband. THANK YOU GOD. Mothers Day has never been so sweet and I have never been so glad that it was over.
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